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Raven Era

Well, at least that's over...

So, last night , Drae and I had a conversation that essentially established where we are going from here... or rather, not going.

Drae will be moving out sometime within the next couple of weeks - no hard date established - and that will be that. So, a couple of awkward weeks, and we'll see how it goes from there with everything involved in packing her up and out. I believe that she is going to rent a storage locker in the meantime, to get her stuff into until actual move-out dates.

Oh fuck, part 2

Part one of the conversation went well, although Kess did not have much to say. To sum up, it was a fact finding mission. There was a fair amount of discussion and the tentative conclusion is this: Drae is going ot go house sit for a month, and in the meantime, we're going to try to work shit out a bit, and see where things are at the end of it. Other things were addressed in the midst of it, but that was the substance. at least shit is on a timeline, of sorts, now.

Part two is another story.

Oh, FUCK.

This is without a doubt a truly shitty day. I've suspected it was coming for while, and more than anything, I've fought to put it off as long as possible in hopes that shit would work out. It seems that this is not going to happen.

Its been nearly 4 years since Drae moved in with Kess and I. Lot of heartache, lot of OK times, and a few really good ones, and it looks like that's going to be up the creek. Everyone tries to make it work, over the last year the success rate has been declining, particularly between the girls. They seem to be unable to communicate most of the time, and the relationship between them is bad. Overall, the household status is generally poor, owing mostly to their conflict. No one is getting what they need, much less what they want at this point.
My radar has been going apeshit for about 2 months. Today, is contact day. Details below the cut.

Happy Moment

Every once in a while I see something that makes me think that everything is going to work out in the end. This was once of those moments. When I came into the room, kess hushed me and pointed to sleepy Drae. It's the sort of quiet moment that they rarely share, with a lot of stress and conflict in between. Mostly silent conflict, sometimes not. But moments like this — yeah, they keep me going.

Fuck, it's court day.

Everyone think good thoughts for Drae. We’re off to court soon.

Damn, but this has been eating me up.

Examination

Draephon and I are having a major conflict over my views on certain matters. They are matters both moral and philosophical, and really deal with my world view in general. What follows is probably not of general interest, and contains an exposition of my view of the world, and how it conflicts with Draephon's.

I think that it is necessary to state at the outset that I consider myself to have been "born wrong" by most of society's standards. I do not now have, and never have had, a "moral sense" or conscience as regards most of the world.

I'm Fine, Girls.



I'm fine. really truly. I just needed some headspace. Basic needs cared for. All good. home later.

Core

I've been doing some thinking for the last few hours. Some sort of critical mass is being reached, and I will have to make a decision soon, about where to go, and what to do.

Both girls say that they love me, but

WTF?!?!

I haven't done this for a while, since it usually ends up not in a discussion at home, but in bitching and recrimination, and eventually a shouting match. But sometimes, I just gotta say "Fuck it!" and let it all spill out.

This is one of those days. Read on if you want a bunch of bitching, moaning, ranting and raving. Don't bother if you don't.

It is not logical, but it is often true.

I just want to pack this whole thing up and go off on my own. I love both Kess and Drae, but between them I find that I always end up being the loser when it comes to keeping them happy, and tolerant of each other.

Kess stays hip deep in jewelry supplies, and her jewelry forae and her discussion boards. Drae was neck deep in Ever-Quest, and since she got a voice chat app she's literally up to her ears. Kess is difficult to talk to because every conversation ends up being about the relationship. and Drae doesn't talk to me at all anymore, hardly.

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