No direct recollection of the dream survives, but woke up v paranoid. Belief of the day seems to be that Rupert Murdoch is somehow controlling management at UNH in an attempt to make me stop wearing hats.
The hat is, in this line of thought, some sort of last defense against a group of Christian-Zionists who wish to control the God-module through corrupted scriptures.
How utterly fucked is that? What was I dreaming about?
I've had several weird dreams lately with the commonalities that they pertain to the order and it's membership, and that they involve using LSD at some point.
Not sure what to make of them, but they all seem rather surreal and disordered. Attached audio file is a recording of the diary entry immediately following.
I've been rereading Illuminatus! for the 3rd or fourth time. What I'm finding interesting about the experience is that there's always more in the book than I previously realized. My focus this time is on the way that the characters develop through initiatory processes.
I've been up hellishly late 2 nights in a row. First was Tuesday, when I decided to damn the torpedoes and truck my ass to Salem to see my KTO brothers. It was a pleasure and privilege to see them again.
Spent last night working on hexagram ritual analysis with E. Not a bad night's work.
Systematic operation to acquire a house is proceeding well to this point. There are a few final things to clear wioth et bank, etc, and then we are off and making hte mad-dash to the closing.
So, I've been performing the adoration of Liber Resh vel Helios for the last week. The object, at present is to learn the adorations by heart, and not have to use the Red Book, essentially a self-created handbook of ritual tasks geared for portability.
Much thinking about this over the last couple of days, and in part in response to my own earlier post on Nothing. Being directed toward gnosis of the Nothing, it seems that the discovery of ones True Will is an experimental process of discovering what the True Will is NOT- that is, determining one's limitations and weaknesses as a means of finding the path of one's strengths. This constellation of strengths and weaknesses should indicate where the Magickian is to GO.
It was like a setting out of some weird hybrid novel... senses of scale were hard to hold onto.. Bookcase elevators, leading to floor where there were different forms of distress --- different forms of danger. Some parts were sci-fi worlds... There was always a sense that I was somehow being tested: Initiation at it's most merciless: No rules, changing rules.
I've been pondering modes of operation and ritual gear for several weeks. This morning, I was eyeballing the old Mac SE when it hit me that more than any other single object that I can imagine, THAT is the most appropriate focus I could possibly be using. With some simple fidgeting and digging around old software archives, I bet I could even use it for tablet and square operations.
