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Observations on current practice:
Sat, 01/20/2007 - 11:05 — lsmft
- I need a chair suited to meditating the God Asana in the altar room. Frankly, I find the chair that's in there is unsuitable both for what it does to my posture and alertness. too damn comfy.
- Partly I think because of 1, and partly because I've been so underrested for so long, any attempt to maintain clear my mind results in my falling asleep almost immediately upon blocking out the background noise. I need to break that habit. I find it frustrating and distressing, because I see it happening, every damn time and my body is overriding my desire to stay alert. or even become alert.
- As often as not, the sleep that I fall into puts me into a state of light dreaming, just below the edge of consciousness. The resuklt is that I have bizarre hallucinatory dreams, which tend to have either action-movie like content, or play like a very bad trip. Sometimes this is enough to put me off the effort of meditation and Asana for a few days.
- These experiences also infringe on my going to sleep at night. My repsonse has been to visualize myself in the altar room, and with as greata precision and focus as I can manage, mentally execute the Kabbalistic Cross and Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram. Thisis effective, but has the result my my NOT dreaming at all, at least to remember, for most of the night. The secondary effect seem to be that I know perceive my dreams, when I do have them, to be alien in origin (not little green men, just external intelligences). I suspect that this is simply more fucking about in Chapel Perilous, and I need ot find a tool to work through it. I think I may appropriate the "Apo Pantos Kakodaimonos!" cantrip to this end, as it seems appropriate. Will report on success of that later.
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