Völuspá, but make it Southy

A drunk man in an Boston Irish bar Telling a story to rowdy patrons

A couple years back I had a conversation with a friend, and made the point that the Norse poems from the e.g. the Eddas aren’t intended to be treated as highbrow art – they are meant to be read/sung/performed as entertainment for the masses.
Said friend challenged me to prove it… so here we go, and in the voice of an older, crankier, South Boston barroom-prophet:

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